About Me

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MY PLAN: to spread awareness and raise money for MY VISION: to empower, educate and employ girls who've been rescued from child prostitution in Nicaragua. MY MISSION: to buy land and establish a self sufficient community of treehouses on the south west coast. MY GOALS: Staff and Operate a Surf Hotel, Develop a School for English, Provide Basic Medical Aid, and Offer training in the arts, trades and sustainable agriculture.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

A place where you pray it pores buckets.

For the past two weeks I have worked for the government. YWAM Darwin has been contracted and funded to put on a holiday program for underprivileged children in the community. So that means Tuesday through friday at half eight, (my leader if from england) we jump into vans and drive around Aboriginal community's picking up kids, our target age is ten to sixteen. It is kind of like a scavenger hunt. You see a kid on a trampoline behind a house so you stick your head out the window and yell "Oiii, Do you wana go to the wata paaak?" They run up and ask, "Can Denzel, Justin, and Ryan come? Oh and my other cousin?" But you can't make out the names until you have collected wavers from all of them with their names spelled out on them. It took me fifteen tries to figure out Denzel was not Dethil, finally he just sayed exasperated "LIKE WASHINGTON!" We took an average of sixteen kids everyday on adventures to things like Litchfield national park waterfalls, mini golf, fear factor games in the park, and the water park. To tell you everything that happened or how crippling tropical heat is on your energy level would take all day. I will just give you a few photo that will speak way louder than any words I may have.

The worst moment: Usually my van was the one that went to Mimarama and Kululuk. We only ever picked up boys. But today we picked up a girl named Bianca. We were on our way to the Mall. The plan was to play live "Where is Waldo" in the mall. My team was me and nine kids from the ages of eight to sixteen in a mall! If you can not already sense disaster you obviously have never tried this at home. Well DON'T! Right off the bat I lost the three oldest boy because they thought the game was lame. I thought, "Fine I will find them later." Then the rest of the kids began to forget the game and began their own, including running, punching, climbing, and minor swearing. I managed to keep a gentle control by hold the worst boys hands when they started to knocking things over and stuff. I was holding onto two children rotating at a constant rate. I managed to retain most of my patience and keep us on track. But my heart was beginning to break because this one little boy just wanted to walk holding my hand. I just couldn't hold his hand because I had to keep pulling kids down from the top of displays and pick up the things that were getting knocked over all along the way. I began to notice that Bianca was the instigator of it all. She was always the first to run, the first to climb, the first to touch things that were not hers, always the first to swear and the hardest to catch. I finally got ahold of her and she started to scream and flail and try to grab something to break. I gave up. I sat down. And I held on for dear life. The next ten minutes where full of teeth, fists, spit, and more profane language that you could even imagine an eight year old to be able to remember. I was almost brought to tears, but I stood my ground and just began to pray quietly in tongues. They all stopped and just looked at me. All I could do was look back and continue. From that moment on they were quieter. And Bianca began to listen to me. I don't know wether I spoke in their language or wether it was just the holy spirit talking but in that moment the understood and listen to what I said. We later dropped the worst kids off at home and went to lunch without them.

The best moment: Teresa is from Germany and everywhere she goes she seems to be praying or singing quietly to herself. It is really quite helpful to remind me at least of why we are here and doing what we are doing with cheerful hearts. One day after lunch she was singing a bit louder than usual "One way Jesus, you are the only one that I will live for." Since we are government funded we can't really be as forward with what we believe; we can only really love on them. It honestly makes you feel like your hands are tied behind your back at times. But on our way to take the kids home there was no radio on for some reason and the kids just started to sing that song! Small at first but after a few times the whole car was singing!!! "One way Jesus, you are the only one that I will live for." It was unbelievable and such a comfort that God works even when your arms are tied behind your back!

I always fall into brown eyes.

Charles Darwin

Proverbs 16:33 "We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall"

I am not encouraging gambling or roulette. I am just beginning see how God determined how my dice fall.

I have always dreamed of coming to Australia. I have always wanted to surf. And I have made it a goal to prove I do not need college. Conclusion YWAM WAVES SUNSHINE COAST. So I threw the dice hoping to win a surfer body, tan skin, and a sexy accent. Now may I tell you where they fell?

I walked into an open air church with dusty fake flowers in the front. Half the people where Aboriginal Australian and the rest of them were elderly. It was an odd mix to say the least. But as we were worshiping God I began to notice that congregation really knew how to worship God. In the first song, I noticed this old lady named Marla. Singing to Jesus from her chair. God whispered in my ear, "You are going to need to pray for her." I was like alright cool just let me know when. Then our leader motions that she has something to tell us. The pastor just told her that we have to do a skit or something... We had nothing prepared... So we began to pray and worship a bit harder. Offering time came, as the basket went by the lady looked at me with condemning and expectant eyes. But I don't have any money. I haven't had a job in 6 months. I am YWAM. So I closed my eyes and asked, "God is there anything you want me to give these people tonight?" I got an instant and powerful response. I have never heard God's voice to clearly, "Hannah, I want to do healing in this house tonight." I began to cry; I always cry when I feel the Holy Spirit but this was sobbing. I kept hearing that same phrase over and over and over. The next song came on and the lyrics where: There is power in his name, There is healing in the name of Jesus. I fell to my knee's. The girls were a little worried at that point so they asked, I replyed with a whisper the words God gave to me I passed on to them. On my knees I said "Ok God, but when and how? Do I just walk up and take the mike from the girl singing?" I felt I needed to just walk to the front and wait. At that point silly me asked God for conformation, I felt a little crazy, nothing like this has ever happened to me before. The man standing beside me was praying loudly in tongues and the only english word that came out was healing. Moments later he walked to the front grabbed the mike and said, "I think we need to sing that power in Jesus name song again." I thought alright it is now or never. I stepped forward and reached for the mike. At that point everything went a bit blurry. Though tears, pounding heart and shaking hands I became God's Messenger. "God wants to do healing in this house tonight." Simple as that, my team stood beside me. And then the people started to come. I prayed simple but powerful prayers over an uncountable amount of people. People were falling down in the spirit. I have never seen anything like it in my life. I was in a missionary book that I never believed was possible. I found myself at the feet of the woman at the beginning of the service, Marla. I spent the rest of the night praying through every single one of her struggles and pains. I ever got snot on her skirt. It was SUPERNATURAL! As quickly as it started it came to an end. We all sat back down and some man gave a sermon. I didn't hear one word. I just sat with my Bible open to the passage God had given our team Isaiah 42. I read verse 9 over and over. "Everything I prophesied has come true, and now I will prophesy again. I will tell you the future before it happens."

Outreach day 1: The dice fell.

Monday, December 14, 2009

It is time.

This week we sang a song it said "Fill us up, and send us out." All week I have just felt a huge blanket of piece over every piece of life. Even as people began to disappoint me and thing began to go wrong. There was just this very real peace. There are more important things in life. It was really cool. I honestly got nothing out of the teaching though. I feel like a sponge that is completely full of water and the only way to absorb more is to squeeze it out and I just don't want to.

Again and again I poor myself into relationships just to have to say goodbye. I just have to remember it is worth it. I have to repeat that to myself often.

Matthew 6:33-34 "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."

Here we go.

Rozzy Wilma Teresa and Hannah are off to

Darwin, Australia and Bali, Indonesia!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Is it more loving to wash the other girls dishes or not?

I was looking for words to describe this feeling: tired, exhausted, worn out, weary, fatigued, zonked, done in, pooped, just plain tuckered out.

I spent a few more thoughts on it and remembered my own words written in a small brown book only six months ago:

"Today marks the beginning of the last days, the hardest days, the days of nothingness between other things, the awkward invisible space between beginnings and ends. I am in a constant pursuit to make these days not only bearable but enjoyable. If I am not ready, please help. I can not believe I came and now, went. I will carry only a few things with me. But my bag is heavy with friendships. I have learned patience by understanding time, I am sandy and I just don't mind."

The things I gathered from a week on "Inductive Bible Study":

The first missionary is written about in Mark 5. His name was Legion because there were so many demons inside of him. The man lived in the cemetery and was always naked. "Day and night he wandered among the burial caves and in the hills, howling and cutting himself with sharp stones." (5:5) This man was crazy and possessed. People feared him. They couldn't even lock him up; he would just break the chains. Society was at a loss they no longer knew what to do. Then Jesus showed up and sayed, "Come out of that man you evil spirit." And they are all forced to leave. The man is left normal and in is right mind. He had been clothed and saved from an unimaginable life of constant torture. The man pleaded with Jesus to let him come with him. And Jesus replied "No, go home to your family, and tell them everything the Lord has done for you and how merciful he has been." In that moment the man became the first missionary! Jesus had just told a mad with no credibility, probably to education, no history in the church, and definitely no letters of recommendation out into the mission field. So if you have ever thought "I am not qualified" "I don't have enough education" I haven't lived a virtuous enough life" "No one will listen to me" "I don't know how to be a missionary" Those are strait up lies. Isn't that cool?

I also learned that our culture is best reflected by kindergarden age. Ask the next one you run into, whether is is a niece or a random at the park, what they would do with if the had 100$. You will prolly get answers like a new bike, a car that can turn into anything, a swimming pool, a barbie dream house room makeover, a brush that doesn't pull your hair, vacation all the time. Some how things like clean drinking water for all the other little kids in the world, an end to child prostitution, protection for all the animals that go extinct every day, a cure to cancer, or cleaner air to breath doesn't quite make the list. What does that tell us about ourselves. Are there a few adjustments that need to be made?

Food for thought. Just let it simmer.

Hello and Good bye.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I cut pizza with scissors.

Has anything ever happened to you that was so crazy you were left speechless and almost in disbelief?

Have you ever seen something so beautiful you felt like you shouldn't touch it because you might ruin it?

Do you ever look at the sky?

¿Usted mirra al cielo?

Have you ever heard of Jesus?

¿Usted conoce a Jesús?

We should be just as comfortable asking the first three questions as the fourth one. Are you? Am I?

"If you believe that without Jesus you will be separated from paradise and God forever, how much do you have to hate someone not to tell them their possible fate and share the solution?" -An Atheist

Before I came here I believed in God but I didn't really know how I felt about Jesus. If you feel similarly pick up this book "More than a Carpenter" I am on page 49 out of 120. It has already revolutionized my view of Jesus. He is the best thing that has ever happened to man kind and he only lived to be thirty three, and only three of his years were spent in ministry.

Imagine then what you could do with your eighty-ish years of life.

There are two weeks left before we all go on Outreach Darwin/Bali.


Sunday, November 22, 2009

Fantastic Friday

We went to the July DTS graduation. Before it began I was just sitting on the internet trying to get college applications done and I got looking at my own facebook photos. It was just making me miss EVERYTHING. When I got to this picture. I just started to cry.

This is my dad and I with my car after a 26 hour strait drive from Orlando Florida to Merrimack New Hampshire. Everything I own is in that car. My bed and my surf board (that is still broken) is on top. I lost it. I was just angry at God that everything I love is so far away. The graduation started with praise songs. I just couldn't do it. I went outside and just talked to him for a while and then he reminded me of something I learned in Orlando. "IF YOU DON'T MISS IT THEN IT WAS NOT GOOD." At that point things were back to ok. I went back in an was able enjoy what God had done in and through them. I also noticed that I am on the right DTS. God is awesome at timing. We are going to blow their graduation out of the water!

At the end Mario made an announcement that there would be a dance party at #2. I decide I didn't want to wear a shirt so I went home to change and make myself an ice coffee. Then I set out of the walk to #2. I decided to walk by 77 to give Christian a call because I had a few things to tell him. When I tried to call my phone card said it didn't have enough money on it. Which was very because I put 10$ on it that very same day. So I called the customer service line to try to figure out what was happening. I ended up talking to the customer service guy for 45minutes. He is twenty year old Philippino. He lives in Manila and loves corn ice cream just like I do! His father is a pastor and he knows people who have done YWAM. I got to refresh his our look on Jesus I think. We talked about how sometimes it can feel like something you have to do because your family does it. But really it is this crazy thing that deserves our love. I ended up missing the dance party completely. God is so funny how he uses us. I never did get ahold of Christian I was only able to leave a message but I was able to be used by God even though only a few hours ago I was very upset with him.

I also got 12$ for free on my calling card and he is sending me a SIM card to put in my Australian cell phone that will enable me to call the US for 4 cents a minutes from a cell phone!

God is good.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Romans 1:20

This week we ran 24 hour prayer for 5 days. We each had a group of about four people in a two hour prayer slot somewhere in the day or night. But you were not limited to that two hours. You could pray all day and all night if you wanted. I learned more strait from the lips of God last week than from any other week from the lips of man. After reading over all of my notes from the week this is my conclusion:

God you are BIGGER than real; more powerful than tsunamis. You are cooler than aliens; more extravagant than galaxies. There is so much more than what we hear with our ears and see with our eyes. Help me to see what you see. Help me to hear what you hear. Help me to see right and wrong the way you see it and not through my cultures eyes. Anoint me with truth, fill me until I over flow with wisdom.

Angels are always with us. Often there are so many with us during a time of worship there is no more room for humans in the building. They all have names. I asked God the name of my guardian angel and he wouldn't tell me. God is wise. I would have thanked the Angel instead of Jesus for protecting me. I thanked my angel anyways. Haha

God and my love for him is bigger than my love for my cowboy boots. They fit perfectly and where my mothers when she was my age. I almost had to give them away because they are that good.

God has given me a love for everything hand made, for hand sewing, for cooking healthy meals, for the sky, for picnics, for writing letters, for explaining new concepts in multiple ways, for getting onto an individuals level that thought no one would ever understand, for bringing joy out of everything and now strait up crazy love for Him. Now it is my job to use all of those things for his glory. Especially letter writing.

I believe prayer is going to become a much larger part of my life. I love just hanging out with God. I always learn something new. Here are a few examples:

What a simple thing and a huge relief it is to admit you were wrong and ask for forgiveness.

How purely wrong gossip is and how easily it pretends to be something else in our culture. Ex: People magazine, The real world, Tabloids, and Desperate house wives.

How real and horrible Satan really is, and how he work over time just to trip us.

How easy getting rid of Satan is.

How a random bad mood is not just "normal" it is an attach of satan to make you less productive and lazy. And it works!

How simple but difficult true faith really is.

How real healing the sick is.

If we can heal the sick, we can also raise the dead.

How present angels are.

How much he wants to help us with every decision in our lives.

How much he loves me.

Romans 1:20

"For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God has made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities, his eternal power, and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God."

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Remain Faithful Available and Teachable

Last week was just a reminder that this Christian life is a journey. It is a constant renewal of our love for Christ. It is crazy to me how huge and constant God's love for us is. We so easily get distracted and so easily get attached by the devil. And yet he never stops loving us. I just think its sweet that as soon as we say "get away from me satan in Jesus name" he has to leave.

Last weeks lectures where pretty basic. It wasn't a lot about God at all. It was about Relationships. So we talked about conflict resolution, doing singleness well, boundaries, communication, personality types and some other things I already know about. During class I actually made a new lap top cover by hand. Hand sewing helps me listen and stay concentrated. It is also very calming. I have really begun to enjoy not having a sewing machine.

I did learn a few things from lectures though. One is that there is no mention at all of what Eve looked like. It does not even tell us that she was beautiful. It does not tell us what size boobs she had. What her pant size was. How tan her skin was. It just says that when God saw it he said it was good. I also noticed that woman was made last. I was almost offended at first. But I think it shows us our worth. This world puts woman's worth at the level of a maid. She cooks and she cleans but our place is so much more important than that. God made the world and man and then he saw that there was a piece missing. Woman is that missing piece. We fill in all the cracks. There is so much value in that. It just brings a smile to my face.

I have also started reading my Bible with breakfast. Because I ALWAYS eat breakfast. It has been really cool. I didn't realize how much I had enjoyed it until went to the largest sand island in the world for the weekend and left my Bible at home. I missed my breakfast with God.

Seek first to be understood and then to understand

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

There is sand in my bed.

Eight days ago I was Baptized. It was not planned in advance. On that Sunday I let a lot of things go that I was holding onto to and that were holding me back. I handed God, with the help of friends, ALL of my burdens, ALL of my sin, ALL of my shortcoming, and ALL of my fear. As I handed him things, one by one he took them. One by one they disappeared. He took them with mercy and love in his eyes. When it was all over I was weak enough that I let myself fall into his arms. Through Callie's arms I felt the true embrace of the God who can look at me now because I have been covered in his only Son's blood. Not to sound morbid. But honestly. At that point I knew it was time to make that public statement that GOD IS REAL. And I want my life to be a testimony to that fact. As we started to drive towards the ocean there was an EPIC rainbow. I have never seen one so wide and bright. As I looked at it in the middle of this drizzling dismal dreary day God said "Don't worry Hannah the sun will come out." We drove to the ocean with a hand full of my YWAM family and accidentally ended up at the exact place I first touched the Australian ocean. God is not cheep, he appreciates the details. I was baptized in the name of The Father The Son and The Holly Spirit. As we left the beach the sun came out.

Right before I started to write this I asked God where I should read in the bible I closed my eyes expecting to have to wait for an answer. Before they were even shut for a moment I got Titus 3:5-6 and it says: "He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior." The reason I think that is so cool is because that is a summery of what I have learned here. It is also a conformation of what I saw only an hour ago while I was praying with my friend. I saw God standing in the laundry mat waiting for me to come wash my one pair of clothes. I wondered why do I only have one pair? And he answered "So you keep coming back Hannah."

Last week was jam packed with information. They squeezed Spiritual warfare and Jewish roots into four days. Honestly I think that is almost criminal but our speaker Joel did a fabulous job.

Spiritual warfare:

I learned that in Jesus name I have authority over fear, over bad moods, over negative thoughts, over lust, over bad dreams, over disappointment, and even over demons. I learned that we need to be aware and alert. The world is a battle ground, but we are not alone. We have the most powerful God living inside of us. We bring the presence of God with us everywhere. Therefore we have no reason to fear. I also was reminded that our enemy is not flesh and blood so if we find ourselves fighting amongst ourselves like a lot of American churches do. That means the devil is winning. He is sitting on a beach somewhere drinking a cocktail just stirring the coals every once in a while. Devision in the church makes the devils job way to easy. This is the time we need to band together as the church. We desperately need to restore unity. In church history the best way to restore unity is to be persecuted. Do you want that? Do you want the police to start arresting christians? Is that what it is going to take to bring us back together or do you think we can pull it together. I have faith that we can pull it together. I believe the church has way more potential than it gets credit for. But it has lost its first love. Christ. Lets bring it back around. Lets refocus and let the fire burn in us. "From the days of John the Baptist until now, the Kingdom of Heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it" (Matt. 11:12) Lets be forceful. Lets be intentional. Lets be unified. I am going to soak America in prayer until it is dripping wet. We need it. We need to admit that we are not ok.

Jewish roots:

One of the coolest things he said was what we should all be saying to the jewish nation. "Thank you for this wonderful book. If it was not for you we would never have it. I pray for your nation, And I love you." I have never in my life thought to thank them. But without God's people we would never have to word of God. I just think that fact is so precious. Another thing he described that I thought was cool was how the gospel has gone around the world in a westerly direction out of Israel. And that it how God wanted it. He actually wouldn't let Paul go into Asia. He had to go west. God wanted the Gospel to go west and make its way back around to Israel. You can see from history how it burned across europe and into american and now the cutting edge of the gospel is in china. We are seeing the greatest numbers of Chinese coverts in these recent days than ever in history. And in time it will get back to Israel and the first will be last. I think that is such a wonderful picture of God's order and faithfulness.

One of the most powerful things I learned though, is that as a christian our inheritance or job is not only the great commission. "Go into all the world and preach the gospel." We are also commanded in the word to do greater signs than even Jesus did on earth. We are commanded to "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons, and cure the lepers." No one ever told me that it was my job to heal the sick. I was always told pray and read the Bible and maybe you could be called to be missionary work. But NO that is not good enough. We are told to HEAL THE SICK! Have you ever seen a healing? Well you better because that is our calling. Our job is to do signs and wonders to make the people wonder. Cool huh?

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Jesus Lover of my Soul

Today I received an unbelievable level of joy, pure groundless almost ridiculous joy. It just became contagious. I just wanted to share it with the world. So I hugged everyone, skipped to the IGA (24 hour grocery store) made brownies, went to the dentist where they had these sick chairs from finland, bought a black dress for 8$ and spent 2 hours reading my book with God on the beach. Just to conclude with a nacho salad. It was one of those days that it is easy to praise God because you feel it. It is nice to have that kind of a break sometimes. I like those days.

I believe I am starting to figure out the reason for "quiet times." I always thought it was this forced painfully lame thing christians where required to do. I found out this week that no where in the Bible does it say "You must spend 30 minutes a day reading the Bible and praying to God or you can kiss your salvation goodbye!" Quite time can be some of the coolest moments of the day. It can look like anything. You can sit outside a coffee shop and watch all the people walk by and just ask God how to pray for these people. Or you can walk on the beach in silence just listening for God to put things on your heart. Or you can read your favorite or least favorite Bible story and ask God to show you something in it that you have never seen before. God understands me and all He wants is to hang out with me and you of course. Why? Because He loves his creation. Try reading Song of Solomon yourself. That is how God sees you. Through the head over heals eyes of love. I wish everyone let God put those kind of arms around them. So many feelings like fear, insecurity, pain, neglect would literally disappear if you just knew what kind of powerful love you have in Him. God made romance. Imagine that.

This week I learned that to hear God. You have to stop and listen. Listen longer than you pray for. Listen longer than is comfortable. Stop your mind and just listen. Listen until it hurts. Listen until you hear. Wait your time listening. He understands us better than we understand ourselves. He knows how much I love getting letters. He knows how much I wish someone would take me on picnics with heart shaped PB&J's. He told me the other day to go on picnic with him, just him. I am so excited just to hang out with him. This is so new. Sweet as.

Callie, don't worry I will blog about Sunday later. I have to Journal about it first.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I wait upon Your glory, I want to overflow.

A few Ozzy things I have learned this week: the word SHANK fits anywhere, Flat out like a lizard means to be busy, and when you order a chicken pizza it can have ham pineapple onions tomatoes and mushrooms and chicken on it without even asking you.

I have been gone for a whole month. I am not really sure what to think of that. In a way it feels like a long time. I have moved in. I have my own stuff in the fridge like limes, kiwis, bacon, cheddar cheese, salsa. In the freezer there is pineapple, mixed veggies, my water bottle and some dark chocolate kit kats. I have my own cabinet in the kitchen over the stove with organic cereal, corn chips, real hot cocoa mix, chunky peanut butter, and brown rice. When I got home from school I eat a banana and took my laundry off the line and folded it and put it away to the song "I love college". Last night my Ozzy friend Amy kidnapped me from my house and took me to a magazine launch called "Love is..." It was so cool and local and normal feeling. Like I was out of the little exchange student bubble for ten minutes just to take a deep breath of fresh air. Plus I get sushi once a week with Callie. It is the best! Two Rolls for 5$ including soy sauce and wasabi. I already have a routine a NORMAL going. But on the other hand it feels like I have only been here ten minutes. One second it is monday and the next it is the end of the week and your left asking "What happened?"

I guess this is the part where I try to record "WHAT HAPPENED"

Well our speakers name was Glen Vines. That kind of sound like a flowers name to me. He is a prophetic speaker and I immediately trusted him. Which is odd for me. But when he spoke it was not only very clear he but he challenged us to test it. As soon as he got to off track or two far into an opinion he would literally walk back to the podium and go back to the word for proof. This week was called "Fear of the Lord" But it ended up being more of a teaching on Reverence for our Creator and spiritual gifts. He described this vision of God's really big hands full of Gold and Jewels trying to hand it to us but our tiny hands are fists, refusing to even open enough to see what we are holding onto. And then he asked what are you holding onto. And I started to pray. "God I am not holding onto anything." And he replied which I would say was the weirdest part of the whole thing. He said "Give your necklace to Amy." I immediately said "NO! are you kidding? I haven't taken this off in over 7 months now. It becomes more valuable every day. She won't appreciate it as much as me. I can't." Hahaha If thats not proof that my fists where closed I don't know what else is. It took me a couple hours, a good cry and a lot of help from Callie but I have taken it off and I am waiting for Amy's address to send it to her back in Canada. That was one of the first times following Jesus has hurt I guess. I have so much peace about it now though. She really needs it more than I do. I have also been learning what it means to hang out with God. I don't think I am very good at listening yet. But I really like just singing to him out under the stars and making up my own lyrics to songs. I think He really likes it too. At about 11pm here you can see Oh-ryan's Belt it is one of the most comforting homey thing here. I can see it out of the window next to my bed.

Check out freerice.com and google Fair Trade Chocolate. After my dark chocolate kit kat is gone I will not be buying anything chocolate that is not fair trade. I feel like I am getting a much more global perspective.

God wants global warming and he wants to be the heat.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Claro quiero que me hables claro.

Todavía se observa el cielo todos los días. que me mantiene vivo. Estoy contento de que es un artista. Me ayuda a entender mejor. Vive.

This weeks lectures to sum it up: a confusing challenge. Regardless of his accuracy or doctrine I have never seen a speaker have more people walk away from his teaching desiring to look into the word of God for them selves. The only thing that may have been more effective would have been hours of silence ironically. Monday I left so confused I couldn't figure out a question to ask. Tuesday I asked "What is the difference between the kingdom and salvation?" after about a 15 minutes dance around the question, I walked out to ask God instead of the speaker. Either way I have read more chapters of the Bible this week than I have ever in my entire life. It reminds me of trying to read Shakespeare in school, but I believe anything gets easier with practice.

I still have to fix my surf board. It got seriously beat up on the way here. Note to self: ALWAYS GET TRAVELERS INSURANCE! It is prolly in stage three of its five stage fixing process. Who ever said I should prolly buy a board here might have been right.

I have signed up for an informational meeting about TESOL next monday I am so excited. I feel like when I walk away from that meeting I will know much better what direction my life will take after this ridiculously interesting experience.

The plan so far for our outreach: Prayer and praise as a group with a guitar (wilma) and a bongo (Me) hahahah I know but I am going to learn. We plan to have pancake breakfasts on the beach for Muslim and Hindu surfers and we are going to get cheep massages while we are in Bali as Christmas presents to ourselves. Sounds like a solid plan to me.

And for the rest of my weekend: I plan to get as much sick Reggaeton from my mexican friend Mario and then take a bus a town or two over so have a sleepover with the surfers. Who knows what kind of adventures that will bring. Cheers ya'll I am out.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Week 1

Over that past week God has become so much more alive to me. We have been doing these exercises about hearing his voice. Like we will go and pray for 15 minutes and then we will write down whatever we heard or think we hear and then we pull a name out of a hat and deliver our message. It has been unbelievable. I have gotten direct answers to questions I have been asking God. Specifically about Jesus. It is blowing me away. Like I always knew he was real but I never realized how much he wants to talk to us. All we have to do is ask. I feel like that sounds kind of crazy. But why would I lie. I don't believe things until they have real proof. And it has been proven. Kelly gave me this piece of paper thats said "Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess. Give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarets for the coming down... Tell her something true when all she knows are lies tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom... Tell her she was made to dance in white dresses" And then the next night this guy was praying and I just felt like I should stand up. Which is kinda of weird because every one else was sitting on the floor of "the blue room" the place we have class. So I stood up and about 30 seconds after I stood, he said to stand up if we needed healing. We had to ask for it. But I was already standing. It was nuts and I just kept repeating in my head the question "God do I really deserve a white dress" cuz sometimes I just feel like I don't deserve anything good or clean or perfect because I have disrespected my body. ya no? And before I knew it at least 3 people were around me praying. And then Callie stopped and said Hannah I had a vision about you the other day and I didn't know when would be the right time to give it to you but I will tell you now. She said she saw me standing there in a sexy red dress but it was torn. Still sexy but torn and she saw Jesus holding a white dress for me. And asking me to dance. And I lost it I just started to cry. And in that moment I remembered my mom and I talking and her telling me how I needed a white sun dress for this trip and we never got around to making it before I left. But I think it was because I was not ready. I really hope that makes as much sense to you as it does to me. So yesterday Callie took to me to the fabric store and she bought for me white linen and thread. And I will make my own white dress with a needle and thread to represent the journey of getting to know the God that loves me enough to speak to me in a way that I understand.

When I am done writing this I am going to go sand my surf board because I learned to fix it the other day and all the resin and stuff is dry. And then I am going to eat these Herbs I bought at this Hippy store that are called "Puff". And then it is this girl Claudy's Birthday so we are having a BYOB (Bring your own Bible) dance party at one of the houses. Sounds like a good Friday to me ended with Yoga and Good Dreams.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Does anyone know where Bali is?